Getting married does not end with merely being together with the person you love, but it also means constantly making your spouse your choice – choosing to be considerate of your spouse FIRST before anyone else.
This follows the biblical principle of leaving and cleaving… how you have to “constantly” cleave to your spouse. Here’s a link to a previous post in which I detailed this issue…
There are times when I fail to make my spouse my choice. I forget to show consideration, compassion, and even love. I have actually failed to make Jet the priority on some decisions and we just ended up fighting. (sorry, honey!)
So I’m jotting down my top 5 things to remember which help me and Jet live a life towards “oneness”… maybe this can help you too 🙂
1. You and your spouse hold the responsibility for your life together. – no one else is responsible for the choices you make together for your life.
The equation is simple: Husband + God + Wife = Happy Life.
2. Prioritize your spouse. Show utmost consideration for your spouse. Be a partner and teammate!
A healthy marriage is when both husband and wife are very considerate of one another – a couple practicing selflessness towards one another. It could also be considered an effort of love. It is not always easy to prioritize another person… and this is easier said than done… but the fruits of both your efforts to prioritize one another rather than one’s self really are incredible!
3. Apart from between you and your spouse, you don’t need to ask for permission or get any one else’s if the both of you want to do something or implement something for your family and household. – this includes how you parent and discipline your children. No one else has the responsibility nor the right to parent or discipline your children. Sure, you can ask others about parenting tips and stories… but that doesn’t mean that their parenting style is the “perfect” style. I believe that each family develops their own dynamic in their own time.
4. Respond and Respect. Do not React.
It is VERY normal for you to have different opinions (and a different thinking process) from your spouse. First and foremost, when discussing family (and I mean you, your spouse, and your kids) matters, it is always a good idea to avoid making any sudden permanent decisions on your own… the best action plan? just talk it out with your spouse. Try to communicate objectively and listen openly. Respect and trust that your spouse’s intention is always for the good of the family. DO NOT SAY “NO” RIGHT AWAY. Reacting emotionally to any situation will just create a wall in between you two… and that will almost always never end well.
5. Succumbing to pressures from outside your marriage will just cause LOTS of problems for the both of you. (believe me, we’ve had a handful of experiences) – the most common pressures can come from relatives (includes parents, siblings, or extended relatives) or friends! Be happy with your family status and what you do for your family. Don’t let the judgement and pressure get to you!